1
Grip the quarter
One player wedges a quarter between their butt cheeks. No hands once the attempt starts, and no adjusting after the waddle begins.
Pink. Teal. Unhinged.
Clench. Waddle. Drop.
Assquarters is the party game where players pinch a quarter between their cheeks, waddle six regulation feet to a pint glass, and trust gravity like their reputation depends on it. Sink the shot and the room drinks; miss, and the waddler pays the price.
Free in your browser. Bring a phone, a pint glass, and at least one person willing to lose a quarter.
1 coinOne quarter. One chance.
1 pint glassThe tiniest target in the room.
Infinite shameThe Ass Master is always watching.
How it works
The sacred cheeks-to-glass sequence
The rules are simple enough to explain over music and dumb enough to become an instant house classic. Keep it clean, keep it fast, and keep a refill nearby.
2
Waddle to glory
The player shuffles toward a pint glass placed on the floor or a low table. Style points for dramatic footwork, pelvic concentration, and eye contact.
3
Drop and deal the drinks
If the quarter lands in the pint glass, everyone else drinks. If it misses, the shooter drinks and the Ass Master claims another victim.
The mascot
Meet the Ass Master
The Ass Master is the smug little penguin who presides over every game. Pink-and-teal nightclub colors, dive-bar confidence, and the moral authority of a coach who absolutely should not be coaching anybody.
SpeciesParty penguin
PaletteBubblegum pink + electric teal
JobJudge, hype man, drink tyrant
Signature moveThe ceremonial side-eye
House variants
Challenge modes for bolder butts
Start with the base rules, then add a variant once the room is feeling brave. These are made to escalate laughs, not arguments.
Relay cheeks
Teams tag in one after another. First team to sink three quarters wins while the losing side drinks together.
Distance derby
Move the pint glass back one shoe-length after every make. The room gets louder and the unclench gets riskier.
Ass Master’s decree
The mascot-appointed host adds one ridiculous requirement each round, like a spin, a compliment, or a victory pose before release.
Party setup
Minimum waddle distance: 6 feet
Per international rules. Watch the regulation run below.
Regulation distance • 6 ft (1.83 m) • ratified by the Ass Master, contested by no one.